Gone Batty

For the past month I had been hearing little scurry/scratching noises coming from the attic. Scott assured me it was most likely a squirrel and threw a handful of rodent poison up into the corner where I had heard the noises. Didn't work - the noises continued and were moving down in to the wall just behind my bed. YIKES!! So I sent him up there for further investigation and he returned with the verdict that we had "a bat" and that I was to research how to get rid of it on the Internet. All of the internet sites I found were way more concerned about protecting the bat, and most suggested that you could not do anything to bats in the summer months because of the possibility of babies. Now I understand that bats provide a valuable service to our environment, but Dude, come on, when they decide to take up residence in your house they need to go. The first thing that all of the sites said to do was to go out at dusk and watch to see where the bat exited from. So that night I went outside and stood in my neighbors driveway and watched as two bats exited from the gable vents, all the while hiding behind Scott's back and screaming like a 12 year old at a Jonas Brothers concert. My sister had given us the name and number of a friend of hers who has a critter control business, so I had Scott call him the next morning. When I checked with Scott for an update that afternoon, hoping to find out that the "Bat Guy" would be arriving sometime that day, my wonderful husband informed me that it would cost $900, so he found out what to do, and would handle it himself. WHAT??? Flash forward to dusk once again. My husband comes home with a BB gun and a flashlight. WTF???? Was this what the bat guy said to do??? No, of course not. That was a multi day process involving screens and a net to "exclude" all of the bats over time, and he could do all that, but, ya know, it's really hot and he didn't want to have to get on the hot roof, blah, blah, blah. Again I say, WHAAAT??? So the bat hunter goes up to the attic and proceeds to start SHOOTING at bats at they are preparing to exit for their nightly feeding. Meanwhile, I stood outside and counted as 21 bats flew from my house. Let me repeat, in case you missed that the first time, 21 BATS FLEW FROM MY HOUSE!!! I then found Scott outside looking through the pine needles for all of the dead bats that he was sure he had hit. Uh, No Dude, they flew away and will be back at dawn. As he stood there looking bewildered, I asked him, quite bewildered myself, if this was his "plan"? To shoot at bats ever night? He had the nerve to ask me if I had a "better plan?" HELLO, pay the man his $900!!!! So a week later (we had waited too long to get on his schedule), Jeff a/k/a The Bat Guy a/k/a My Hero show up to rid my house of bats. Now, even though Scott had assured me that there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that a bat could get in the house the first thing The Bat Guy asked was if they had been getting in the house!!! Instantly made a mental note to self that Scott must pay dearly for that one. Anyway to conclude, after 3 days of having an "exclusion" net draped halfway down the side of my house we are now bat free! YAY! Although I am not going back into the attic for a long time, we are peacefully coexisting with the bats, which The Bat Guy informed me most likely have moved next door. Sorry neighbors, if you need a referral, I know a guy.

PS - Just FYI, we had no babies, so we didn't violate any rules regarding bat exclusions in summertime. And I know it's illegal to kill a bat, but we didn't know that at the time Scott was shooting at them, and he didn't hit any, anyway.